This is Thriller

Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this heart attack in no way endorses a belief in the occult.

I can no longer live a lie

I live alone, and I admit that I cross-dress. When no one is looking, I wear pants.

God, I feel so much lighter now!

Charles Bukowski speaks from the dead

"Oh, come on. You READ it, and that's all you got? You didn't get the part where I cried in bed? Tears came to my face... I mean, no, there are many moments in there where I look like a complete asshole and I felt like one. No, no, I just wasn't jumping into bed and jumping out of bed and fucking, I'm sorry... where do you get this crap, baby? I don't know where you get your concepts from, man. You're really fucked up."

Thanks, gin-soaked dead man. You speak for all of us who choose not to pretend we are beautiful.

Agent Obvious

Follow my awesome agent, Laurie Abkemier on Twitter and get great advice on the confusing process of querying from her Agent Obvious tips!

AGENT OBVIOUS TIP OF THE DAY: Never submit your own jacket design. Ideas, images, examples of prev. published books are okay. No designs.

My favorite thing this morning

Twitter: #coolbandsmadeuncool

(Me, on the twitter: http://twitter.com/kyriabeingbanal)

Our wedding

I have found a suitable marriage mate and today we are to be bound together by the cord of Jehovah's love in the presence of God and his true witnesses. Now the two will become three.

Won't you join us at our feast?


We are a jewelry box made by Jehovah. Perhaps you have noticed we are an ethnically diverse couple? We are not of the same race. Jehovah is fine with this.



Here is our flower girl, peeking out from behind the jail where we had our reception. We chose a modest location.




Here we are roasting a pig with a blow torch. Join us!



The pig will be filled with hot dog soup. If this is cold, my husband will beat me.



IT'S MOTHERFUCKING TIME FOR SALAD!


These are pigs in a trunk. We gave them away as wedding favors.


Well! Congratulations to me, a spiritual stay-at-home wife and her new Head of Household who only beats me when my soup is cold. We are blessed because other religions are incapable of love.

A fun party game! Sometimes.

When you have a voice-recognition program on your computer, it's a funny joke to make it say offensive words, like cunt or cocksucker or asswipe.

People will always think this is entertaining. Except probably for blind people. Because they think of it more as a tool for survival.

(Don't let that stop you, though! At your next party, just lock all blind people in the closet. Tell them it's a jacuzzi.)

Sirley

This is a photo of a horse grave I took in Connecticut.

Website I'M PERFECT giveaway

The Reader's Response website is giving away two copies of my book. I don't why, but hey - thank you website people!

Light-hearted and irreverant, Abrahams bears no obvious malice over her upbringing, she simply sees the humor in it. And there's definately something to be said for that.

Everyone has a different opinion of my book and how much I blame the Jehovah's Witnesses for what happened. Go figure!

At the risk of sounding like a QVC Host: Hey America, is this book perfect, or is it doomed? I guess you'll just have to pick up a copy and see for yourself. Only YOU can be the judge!

I'M PERFECT on the Page 99 Test

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford

Page 99 Test