Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Conrad Hilton Be My Guest Reading Series

Wherein I read excepts from the memoir of Conrad Hilton, a racist mentally ill hotel tycoon who inexplicably must have managed to dictate his delusional life story to an unsuspecting ghost writer before drowning in a tin bathtub filled with stolen gypsy wine.

EPISODE 1:
The fancy "animal dances" fail to impress mother. What a cunt!



EPISODE 2:
Conrad Hilton versus the savage but wise Navajos. Point: Navajos.

5 comments:

Shannon said...

Like many of your recent comments, this has nothing to do with your current post but a mere cry of praise for your book. As a 34 year old ex JW child prodigy growing up in Connecticut, I related to every word I read. I particularly enjoyed reminiscing about the old Natick assembly hall with its virulent purple and pink motif. As my congregation was usually assigned to the assembly hall in Monroe NY and its 1974 mustard and burgundy decor, the Natick hall was putrid even by my family's depressed standards. My mother's constant complaining about the color scheme, coupled with my father walking around the Sheraton Tera in Framingham those Saturday nights wearing all New York Yankees stuff looking for a fight, were all just part of the pathological insanity of my JW upbringing. When I look back now, I realize just how much that upbringing screwed me up and warped my worldview that now, in my mid-thirties, I'm still trying to correct. You've made a big fan of your work now. :)

Kyria Abrahams said...

Thank you, Shannon! You are hilarious and I'm glad to know there's someone else out there working through the same things I am. Specifically, nightmares of pink theater seating!

Shannon said...

We were poisoned by Teddie's peanut butter. Or maybe it was the Shaklee vitamins. I'm sure there was an insidious something extra in the Basic-H that we were never meant to know about.

bran said...

tears!! tears!!! This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time...

Btw, do you watch Mad Men? I forgot whether or not you're one of those freaks that have no TV.. ANyway 'Connie' hilton is one of the recurring characters... their depiction is nothing like yours, but yours is a million times funnier!

Kyria Abrahams said...

I just bought a television last weekend. I am post-freak!