QUOTES TO LOVE BY AND LIFE

Originally posted on Street Carnage

You may have noticed an odd trend on Facebook lately. It appears that fifteen-year olds are in the business of casually dispensing important relationship advice.

Trickle-sweet musings about love and loss are placed over hazy Instagram photos, then marked with a tumblr address such as HPLyrikz or Kushandwizdom. There, a photo of colorful high-top Converse sneakers might explain to you how a “real man” treats his woman. A silhouette of a heart could tell you how to let go after a breakup. More often than not, Johnny Depp tells you it’s OK to be yourself.

Thank you, 15-year-olds of the world. It’s so cool that you’re thinking about love.

These photo-word-meme-quotes range from naive nonsense (“I’ll only date someone who has had their heart broken so they’ll know what it feels like and won’t break mine”) to horrible advice on how to guarantee you remain in an abusive relationship. (“I’d rather fight with you than make love to somebody else.”) But one thing they all have in common is that people inexplicably share the ever-loving shit out of them. Seriously. They go fucking crazy for them! And not just teenagers, either. Adults who have the emotional maturity of teenagers also love them.

Put words in a sans-serif font over an emo photograph, and I guarantee people will share it without even thinking about what they actually mean. How do I know? Because I made a bunch of really dumb fake ones and put them on Tumblr and people started sharing them.

This is the first one I made:

Ridiculous, right? Except that within 15 minutes, two random teenagers (Natasha and Kaitlyn Renee) had already shared—without irony—the above image, which champions the idea that a woman should slump into a depressed tantrum in the corner and a man should love her unconditionally despite her otherwise monstrous behavior.

I was both disturbed and victorious.

So if you’re one of those sleazy thirtysomethings who is still trying to fuck 19-year-olds, take note. This is what you’ll be fucking. I don’t think for a moment it will deter you; I’m just exhorting you to enjoy that tight pussy before she starts cutting your name into her forearm and demanding you take her ice-skating in the rain in July.

Please visit my Tumblr page for more kyriaabrahams.wizdom.